Hello, my name is Angela, I’m nearing 40 and I’m single. (Hello Angela!) Yes, I have a cat but only one so I don’t think that I can be considered a cat lady yet. I think I actually have to be 40 to be a cat lady so I’m not far away. I may be alone but I’m not lonely…I don’t think.
Lately I’ve had a lot of friends who want to help me find a date. This could be suggestions on guys they know, a dating site that they heard worked, or actually setting up blind dates. Anyone who is single (whether by choice or by chance) will get where I’m coming from on this: dating is not the easiest. Most of my friends are married and, I think, sometimes forget the agony of the first date, of the awkwardness that ensues. Maybe I underestimate them and they really do remember, or they forget on purpose because it was painful. (Insert laugh here, please) Or my friends want to live vicariously through me. Or because they haven’t ever known me to have a significant other they want to see what it would really look like, which could be pretty scary.
Anyway, I have reasons for not dating at this point and here they are:
1. The dating websites don’t work. Yes, I know EHarmony.com says that 50% of people that meet on their website get married (50% of those also get divorced) but many websites don’t work. I’ve been on them and chatted with guys but as soon as I suggest coffee so we can actually meet, they disappear. Maybe I’m forward and that scares them? I dunno but I’ve given up on dating websites, at least for the time being.
2. Dating is painful. There is the first date, which could be as much fun as an ice pick under your toenail. First, it’s the awkwardness of where to meet (guys, plan the first date, don’t ask the girl where she wants to go. Ask for suggestions, if there are allergies but then run with it), then what to talk about (which I’m bound to offend someone with my honesty) and then how to end the evening. After that it’s “will he call me?” And I know that, if you are into the guy, it can get easier but the first month or so is just painful. It would rock if we could skip the painful stuff and just move to the “I’ve known you forever” stage. Not in this world, not yet.
3. I can do what I want, when I want. Yup, I’m independent and like to not ask for permission to do things. Right now if I want to grab dinner with friends after work, I can just go. No “do we have plans tonight?” or “were you making something for dinner?” Nope, I just up and go! That easy.
4. Celiac Disease. Yes, this plays a part in dating. What if I date someone who just doesn’t get the importance of me living a gluten free lifestyle? What if they don’t care that I can’t have eggrolls (yes, I’m still stuck on that) or that this is a lifelong thing that I have to live with?
I know that there are positives to being in a relationship, don’t get me wrong. And I also know that my friends mean the best and are honest in their intents…I’m not just there. Or maybe I’m there but the guy isn’t…I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.